Urban City Kitty Killer's on the Lamb!

This week’s article review is brought to us by the Detroit Free Press’s front page from Wednesday, September 16^th’s edition.

 

 

Kitten Murder Scandal’s “Kitty Killer”  Still on the Lamb.

 

 

The front page of the Free Press had a pathos pulling, eye-catching pictorial bandit reward poster for the capture and conviction of robbers who broke into a Detroiter’s home and killed the family kitten, Ruby, in the washing machine by turning it on. The headline read, “Reward offered to nab killers”.

 

 

 

 

 

Money!

 

 

….Action… verbs!

 

 and

 

Death!

 

 Yep,

 

That’s

 

the way we spell

 

 

SUCCESS!

 

 

The kitten’s picture had blue eyes. Innocent kitten eyes.

 

“Kitten! Why are you sad?!”

 

Then I go to read the headline and

 

BAM

 

“Who killed kitty?!”

 

Now here I am at Tim Horton’s with a three times cycled-through-the-booth newspaper with coffee rings on it and I can’t believe my eyes. There’s kitten killer’s out there? If even the blue eyed kitty’s aren’t safe these days, where’s the hope for a brighter tomorrow? Jeez.

 

“The Kitty Killer”

 

Put the kitty

In the kitty killer.

 

The kitty killer

Was quick

When it killed the kitty

In the kitty killer.

 

“Well, what’s the kitty killer? “

 

The washing machine.

 

 

“The dirty laundry filler

was the kitty killer?!”

 

 

“Uh-huh”

 

“NO WAY!”

 

“Uh-huh”

 

“Kitty Killer Killed local girl’s Kitten”

 

“Kitty got Cleaned”

 

“Kitty Killer on the Lamb”

 

“Reward for Kitty Killer Bandit”

 

 

 

 

After a year away from media, I have a lot of “unique” observations.

 

 

Until next week!

 

~Miss White